Your Inner Voice:
Friend or Foe?

First, let me reassure you, this isn’t about forced positivity or simply “faking it ‘til you make it” while ignoring challenges. Instead, we’re offering just one simple focused and effective approach that provides a clear path forward.

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Look, we all talk to ourselves. That constant voice in your head, your inner dialogue, is always there, streaming thoughts, opinions, and commentary all day long. This inner dialogue is a universal part of being human. For some, it’s loud and constant; for others, it’s a quiet whisper. But have you ever stopped to think about where these thoughts come from and how they shape your life?

The Power of Your Thoughts

In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article regarding research about the number of thoughts humans have per day. They found the average person has between 12 thousand to 60 thousand thoughts per day. Of those, 80 percent are negative and 95 percent are exactly the same repetitive thoughts they had the day before. That’s a lot of negative talk going on inside our head, all day, every day!

At first, that might sound overwhelming, but here’s the good news, your inner dialogue isn’t something you need to silence or ignore. Instead, it’s a tool that helps you process information, solve problems, and navigate life. It reflects your experiences, beliefs, and emotions, influencing how you see the world and make decisions.

But Who’s Really Talking?

It’s a strange paradox. You are both speaking and listening at the same time; as if there are two of you. This creates the illusion of separation, that there’s a conversation happening between two independent parts of yourself. But in reality, it’s all you. Understanding this allows you to take control of your thoughts rather than letting them control you.

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Many people mistakenly believe their inner voice defines who they are, but it is not an absolute truth. Your inner dialogue is merely a reflection of past experiences, fears, and beliefs—often shaped by misguided perceptions and interpretations. The key is recognizing that you have the power to reshape this voice and guide it in a way that supports your growth and helps you become the person you want to be.

Changing the Conversation

You don’t need to fight, repress, or ignore your inner voice. If you fight, repress, or ignore your inner voice, it doesn’t disappear, it gets louder, more persistent, and often more negative. Suppressing thoughts or emotions can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and frustration because you’re not addressing the root of the issue. Instead of working through challenges, you create an internal battle that drains mental energy and makes it harder to focus and perform at your best. By avoiding or rejecting your inner dialogue, you miss an opportunity for growth, self-awareness, and problem-solving. Instead, you can learn to work with it. This voice isn’t your enemy; it’s your teacher. It reveals your fears, doubts, and limiting beliefs. When you engage with it the right way, you can turn it into a tool for self-improvement rather than a source of stress.

Unfortunately, most people don’t know how to handle negative thoughts. Instead of questioning them, they accept them as fact. When your inner voice says, “You’re not good enough” or “This is too hard,” those thoughts often come from past experiences, fears, or social influences; not reality. These thoughts have no real power unless you let them control you.

The Dangers of Overthinking

Research shows that when things go wrong, people tend to spiral into negative thinking, which only increases stress, anxiety, and poor performance. Instead of dwelling on mistakes or fearing future failures, the key is to stay in the present moment. You can’t change the past, and the future hasn’t happened yet, the only thing you have control over is you in the present.

Get Clarity by Asking Your Inner Voice Questions

When negative thoughts arise, and they will, don’t just accept them. Get clarity by consciously questioning your inner voice. But don’t ask “why” questions. Things like:

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• “Why can’t I hit?”

• “Why did I mess up?”

• “Why am I always nervous?”

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​These “why” questions put you on the defensive and make you feel worse. Instead, shift your thinking with questions that encourage solutions. When asking yourself questions, especially when the inner voice becomes negative, it’s best to choose one or more of the following question starters. Use “what,” “how,” “where,” and “when”, as they trigger insight in a non-threatening way. These suggested words tend to evoke a broader range of thinking and responses that are more open minded and less restrictive. This, in turn, frees your mind to be more analytical, concrete, and solution-oriented. They are problem-solving words and help you to draw out your inner resources.

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• “What is making hitting difficult?” --This shifts the focus away from you personally and onto the challenge itself. It encourages the player to think about factors that may be affecting their performance.

• “What happens during my at-bats that makes hitting feel tough?” --This is even more open and neutral. It invites you to reflect on your experience without feeling judged, leading to a more constructive response.

• “How do I feel when I step up to the plate?”

• “Where do I feel most comfortable in the batter’s box?”

• “When do I feel most confident?”

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These types of questions help you focus on self-improvement instead of self-criticism. They lead to real insights and solutions rather than reinforcing negative beliefs. It helps you identify tangible aspects you can improve rather than feeling stuck in a vague sense of failure. More importantly, it also gives you, and a coach, more insight into the real underlying issue(s) and how to effectively address this potential issue(s) properly.

Also, when questioning your inner voice, you can also include the word “might” versus “could.” “Might” opens and stretches the mind to search for all possibilities and solutions current and in the future regardless of your current capabilities. “Could” keeps the mind inhibited by limiting thoughts to only what you can do in the present moment with your current capabilities. It’s based on past experiences, not future possibilities.

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• "What might I do to improve my hitting?"

• "What might I do differently in my training?"

• “How might I make hitting seem less difficult?”

• “Where might I make adjustments in my routine?"

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By using "might," you give yourself the mental freedom to think beyond your current limitations, explore new possibilities and develop a growth-oriented mindset.

Mental Strength Over Mechanical Fixes

Too often, players and coaches assume performance struggles are purely mechanical because that’s what they can see. But many issues come from mental and emotional factors that aren’t immediately visible. Before jumping to mechanical fixes, take the time to understand the mental side of performance. A player’s mindset often makes the biggest difference between success and failure.

Final Thoughts

You don’t have to believe every thought in your head. You don’t have to react to every doubt, fear, or worry as if it’s an absolute truth. Begin to question their validity. Challenge the assumptions and choose not to give your inner voice power over you; have it work for you. Learn to correctly question those negative thoughts, challenge assumptions, and choose to guide your inner voice in a way that works for you. Your inner dialogue isn’t your enemy - it’s your greatest tool if you learn how to use it.​​

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For more in-depth training on all mental skills and physical training, email Coach Helke. Free initial consult can be done in-person or virtually.

Disclaimer

The content provided is for informational and educational purposes only and is not intended as a substitute for professional medical, psychological, or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. While the mental skill strategies and techniques shared here supports performance and mindset development, they are not a replacement for professional care.

If you are experiencing persistent stress, anxiety, depression, or any other mental health concerns, we strongly encourage you to seek guidance from a qualified licensed mental health professional. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please reach out to a licensed professional, crisis hotline, or medical provider.

By using the mental skill strategies and techniques presented, you acknowledge that you are responsible for your own mental and emotional well-being and that the strategies and techniques shared here are intended as supplementary tools, not medical advice.